Self-Worth Recovery: 5 Mantras To Improve Self-Worth

Alexis
Apr 29, 2020
4 min read

Updated: Apr 30, 2020

Hey yall, I gotta keep it real because I didn't keep it real with myself for way too long. SPOILER ALERT!!!! 👇🏽👇🏽

Well what is worth anyway? Let's clear the word.

worthy (adjective)

wor·thy | \ ˈwər-t͟hē

Definition of worthy : having worth or value

worth (noun)

\ ˈwərth

Definition of worth : the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held

A man isn't worthy based on what he can earn, and a woman isn't worthy based on her treatment (and vice versa).

This world of instant gratification and chasing material things has tricked us into thinking our mistakes, how others treat us, or what we can accomplish is a reflection of our worth. And that "bad things" happen because we aren't worthy.

This lack of worthiness shows up in how we communicate, how much we invest in our dreams, the partners we allow around us, and the friends we entertain. Honestly, it's hella backward and the complete opposite of the truth. That wasn't the intention God had when He created us.

We have been taught at a very young age by receiving punishment for things we often didn't know were "wrong." And even more often, Black children haven't given a sense of worthiness and confidence.

I've realized I've been insecure pretty much my whole life.

Even though I had become good at hiding it, appearing to be confident, collected, and cool; that was often the contrary. I had this roommate in my head that would damn near sabotage every positive thought I had. She'd tell me how much I couldn't do, how much "they" didn't love me, and that I wasn't worthy of anything.

Growing up as a Black girl in America came with its own set of struggles. I grew up in a predominantly white school up until sophomore year of high school. I had big lips, a broad nose, and kinky hair, often of which were made fun of to the point I'd find myself under a pillow at night drench in tears from the embarrassment.

At some point, we made a big move and started attending a Black Baptist church in Texas of which wasn't any better. I was then too "white" for my own people. " Why does she talk like that?" "What is she wearing?" Yes... I said church. So, I struggled with identity issues and for practically as long as I can remember. I'd ask myself if I'm too ugly for the white kids and too "white" for the Black kids, where do I fit in?

So I became the class clown and took on the mindset that if people were going to laugh at me, I was going to give them something to laugh about. I learned to chase things or people for a feeling of gratification or praise. At times of which the chase became destructive and led to a whole set of attachment issues. I'd end relationships and friendships at any sight of disagreement, fearing my inadequacy. I learned the perfect way to sabotage any situation and knew exactly how to wind up alone. This is just one example of many that led me to these beliefs.

It wasn't until I started to heal that I was able to see why I was showing up in life the way I was. I didn't want to be a class clown, I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted to be loved, respected, and honored.

It wasn't until I started investing in my healing that I then realized I had to show up for myself before expecting it from someone else. I finally started to see a shift when I learned how to love myself. I saw a shift in the way I walked, the way I talked, and the thoughts that occupied my mind.

No longer am I playing small, hiding behind others, and sleeping on my dreams. I am worthy of it all!! Self-worth, health, wealth, supportive friendships... you name it!

I call this self-worth recovery because it's a process.

Those thoughts don't just vanish because of a realization, it's constant work to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.

It has saved my life to start looking inside of myself to find out who I am and who I want to be. I've curated my own self-care regime, of which meditation is a non-negotiable daily practice.

Meditation allows me to look inward and tune into the feelings that show up every day and allow me to create a safe container to be myself. It allows me to forgive myself for times I didn't believe I was enough and space to forgive others by strengthening my compassion.

Meditation isn't always easy, but healing isn't meant to be. It's the reward of a peaceful life with meaningful connections that make it all worth it. I often hear people say meditation isn't for them, and that's 100% okay. Meditation isn't just sitting in a Buddha position chanting though. Mediation can be done in many ways.

Meditation is sitting in stillness and tuning into your breath

Meditation is journaling your thoughts

Meditation is prayer

Meditation is crying to clear out energy

Meditation is repeating positive mantras

Meditation is whatever you want it to be that will allow you to become aware of your present thoughts, have a conversation with yourself, show yourself (or someone else) compassion, and give love.

I say all that to say: your worth was given to you the moment you were born and cannot be taken away.

Your worth is measured by how much YOU see it. Your dreams, goals, partners, and friendships are to rise to meet you there. It wasn’t until I started to realize that my world changed.

If at any point you're feeling a sense of inadequacy, try this set of mantras:

I am enough.
I am worthy of love.
I was created extra special.
Everything is always working out for me.
I am deserving of all good things.

There are many ways to build a life of abundance and happiness. You just have to find a formula that works for you. Start your day by reminding yourself that by choosing a meditation or awareness style that fits you best.

Self-care in the form of mantras or affirmation is just one of the many rituals that are necessary for me to keep my ugly roommate at bay. After all, this is is a journey to self-worth recovery. We are reprogramming ourselves from the lies that became our truth. Those limiting beliefs aren't welcome here any longer.